theCOZYgreenCOCOON

Headed towards back to the basics living.

Grandmas & Butterflies

I was 10 when my grandmother passed away. Each of her granddaughters we’re given a set of her salt shakers, two aprons, and two dress pins we hand-picked from her treasure laden jewelry box. I still have the aprons and one of the pins-a beautiful gold and white butterfly. I can’t say why but I just felt a sense of closeness and love for my grandmother whenever I held it. As time passed it got buried beneath my other of the moment treasures I obtained.

During my senior year of high school I  felt pretty lonely even though I had lots of great friends and stayed really involved with school activities. I just remember talking to my mom about my feelings and somehow my grandmother got brought into the conversation. I suddenly wanted to know things about her that had never occurred to me when I was younger. I remember pulling out the pin I still had tucked away.

Now you might think I’m just making connections here where there aren’t any but I kid you not I started to see butterflies all over the place. Several times I stepped outside  and they would just come fluttering up past me.  Or I’d see something on TV or on a backpack-you name it. These reminders of my grandmother always made me smile. I know the brain tends to focus and pick out things it is already focused on. Perhaps that’s all it was-but I really don’t believe so in my heart.

Through the years I have had a butterfly in some shape or form show up whenever I am feeling particularly sad or disheartened about something. I’ve always been a little embarrassed to share this story guessing  people would think I was nuts! But it occurred to me one day that perhaps it wasn’t all in my head. Perhaps our loved ones can see us and watch over us-and  I think there was a deeper connection too that  I had been missing. I really feel it is God making the connection with me-I think it’s been His way of saying: “I remember you, you’re special to me-I see you. I know what makes you feel loved and I’m happy to give that to you.” And I KNOW that’s the way he feels about ALL of us!!!  I just wonder how often do we not see it?

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